


Long story short

by Amandjnx



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awesome Carol Danvers, Break Up, F/F, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, POV Natasha Romanov, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Romance, post snap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-01-31 08:37:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 18,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21443356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amandjnx/pseuds/Amandjnx
Summary: My version of the five years gap of endgame in short chapters - almost one shots - where we follow Natasha and the changes that happen in her life after the snap.
Relationships: Carol Danvers & Natasha Romanov, Carol Danvers & Steve Rogers, Carol Danvers & Talos, Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau (past), Carol Danvers/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 27
Kudos: 29





	1. Crying

**Author's Note:**

> Little disclaimer before you start reading: this fic won't be Romanogers friendly.

Crying.

That's the only thing Natasha was capable of.

During the flight back to earth, no one said a word. They had failed. Yes, Thanos was dead but they didn't manage to bring the dusted back. Steve tried to get something out of his girlfriend but she refused any eye contact, any touch he was offering in support. She just sat in her seat, looking at the immensity of space in front of her, her typical mask right in place. The one time she glanced away from the void behind the window was to look at the blonde haired woman she had met a couple of weeks ago. She looked just like Natasha, emotionless yet something in her hazelnut eyes shined, something the usually-red-head couldn't distinguish, but she wanted to find out.

When they landed, some of them made their way to the meeting room, for a debriefing of what was surely the worst loss of The Avengers. Natasha whispered a few words to Rhodey and went for her quarters, instead of following them. The second she closed the door of her room, all the feelings came out and she fell down to the ground, on her knees, hardly breathing as she tried to fight every sobs that wanted to escape her mouth. She stayed there for so much time, still in her combat suit, that when somebody knocked at her door, she had forgotten where she was and what was happening meanwhile in another room of the Avengers compound.

"Romanoff, are you okay?" It was the voice of a woman. There was not a lot of choice, it was either Pepper or Carol Danvers. It wasn't Pepper, she didn't call her 'Romanoff', they were way past that. She cleared her throat, wiped out the tears off her cheeks and stood up. After a deep breath, she opened up the door and found the blonde figure standing there, in her space suit, with a concerned look. She cleared her throat again and sniffed, "Ca- hmm, Danvers, hi." her voice wavered at every words, she sounded weak, she hated it.

"Hey, you can call me Carol."

"Call me Natasha, then."

"Alright, Natasha, how are you doing?" She allowed herself to think, leaning against the door frame. The more she thought the more tears were threatening to fall. She eventually blinked and couldn't prevent one of them to escape. The few times she tried to speak no sound came out of her mouth, she just stood there, speechless, looking down while an almost stranger was staring at her, "I know the feeling. Do you want me to leave? You might rather be alone for, well, that." As she talked, the space fighter took a step forward and rested a hand on Natasha's shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

Carol's voice was so soft and her touch so gentle that Natasha felt like she had known her forever, she felt safe with her. She wanted her to stay but also didn't want to bother. She shook her head and breathed deeply, "I, uh. Could you get Steve there, please?" Carol smiled softly, "Of course. Take care of yourself, Natasha."

She watched the woman walk away from her, down the hallway. After a few seconds, she opened her mouth and not a hundred percent willingly called Carol. She turned and waited for Nat to say something. Natasha bit her lips before speaking up, "Thank you, for checking up on me." The superhero nodded with a smile and went back to find Steve.

When she couldn't see her anymore, Natasha walked back inside her room, threw herself onto her bed and cried, that's the only thing she was capable of.


	2. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was once named "Captains’ lover" but it was not the best title, so here is Long story short, or what I imagined would have happened in Natasha's life if Endgame had been well written.

Alone.

That's how Natasha felt most of the time.

Tony and Pepper were finally getting married and Natasha was one of the maids of honour. She was glad to be by their sides for this big moment of their life but she also dreaded it. Since Thanos was dead, she hadn't left the Avengers compound, spent most of the time in her room, crying or sleeping, it's not like she had somewhere else to go or anything else to do. The only time she went out of her room not to get food, it was when Carol visited a few weeks after they had killed Thanos.

What she feared the most was to go out alone. Steve was not invited since Tony was still mad at him, he was still taking him responsible for every things that happened with the Mad Titan. Pepper and Natasha tried to reason with him but the man of iron was stubborn and didn't change his mind.

A few days before the wedding, the Russian spy got a message from outer space, sent by one Captain Marvel. Since that day, when they came back from Thanos' _garden_, the blonde haired woman had stayed in touch with Natasha, sending her infos about what was going on in space and often asking at the end of her communication how the redhead felt. It was nice to have someone caring about her, Natasha thought, someone other than her boyfriend. In this message was a few updates on what was happening across the universe, on Carol's friend, Talos' planet. Natasha's eyes flew over the lines to go as fast as possible to the end of the text as she was looking for non-work-related words. Her mask fell off when she did find them.

_btw, Stark asked me to come to his wedding. I wasn't sure if I would but it is settled during the week I planned on visiting you so, I guess I'll see you there._

Natasha was smiling from ear to ear, she was finally going to see Carol again. Steve, who was on a couch of the living room that Natasha had made her office, wondered why she was so happy all of a sudden, and when Natasha told him that Carol would be her date for the wedding, he made a small remark. It seemed that he was jealous, but Natasha assured him that he was still her favourite Captain.

The night before the wedding, Natasha had a hard time falling asleep, she was too excited for her friends and she also couldn't wait to see Carol again.

Steve left early that day, he had been organising a support group for the families of the dusted and the first assembly was in the afternoon while Natasha would be at the wedding.

When the redhead woke up that morning, she was smiling, which hadn't happened in a very long time, years maybe. She went to the kitchen and found Carol, already in her air force official clothing, making coffee.

"Hey there," she greeted as she handed Natasha a cup that she thankfully accepted, "how do you feel about today?"

Natasha occupied herself by taking a sip of her hot drink to gain some time, "I um- I guess we'll see," she eventually said nervously.

It was a hundred percent sure that Carol noticed Natasha's nervousness but she didn't say anything about it.

To everybody's surprise, the wedding was a small gathering, barely thirty people were there and Natasha knew most of them. Of course, Rhodey was Tony's best man, and Natasha on the other side couldn't stop tearing up when she saw Pepper walking down the aisle, when they read their vows and when they finally said _I do_.

When they shared the kiss that sealed their marriage, the entire audience applauded, and when Natasha glanced at Carol, the blonde was already looking at her and smiling. She shyly smiled back before accompanying the couple out of the church.

They all met at Tony's and Pepper's house, that they recently acquired on a lakeside. The place was gorgeous, decorated for the event and the air of this late September made the whole atmosphere light and easy. Carol quickly found her way to Natasha's side and didn't leave for the whole party, they ate at the same table, laughed together, accompanied each other to the rest room and even shared a moment on the dance floor.

By the end of the night, Natasha was very drunk and Carol not at all, because of the part of her that wasn't human, and she drove the redhead back to the compound. She even brought Natasha to her room, helped her to get out of her clothes and to get into bed.

"If you need anything I'll be in my room," Carol told her before giving Natasha's hand a quick squeeze and left.

When she closed the door, everything turned dark and Natasha was suddenly all alone. That was how she felt most of the time.


	3. Moving on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw there are 22 chapters for this fic and you are getting them all tonight

Moving on.

That was what Natasha was trying to do.

After another couple of months, Natasha was back to work and was leading what remained of the Avengers. She was keeping in touch with the in-space team, Carol, Rocket and Nebula while orchestrating what Rhodey and Okoye could do on their sides to prevent any more chaos from happening on Earth.

Tony, Bruce and Steve all _retired _from_ Avenging__,_ and Clint went AWOL. Natasha didn't hold anything against Tony, he was being a good husband to Pepper and still worked on things that helped the US government, but on his own. What made Natasha angry was that Bruce left without saying a word, he didn't even came to Tony's wedding yet he was invited, Clint was alive and somewhere but she couldn't find where, and the worst was Steve.

Since he started his support group, Steve was most of the time away and only came back at the compound to sleep, late in the night and left early in the morning. And when he was there during his day off, he wasn't helping at all, he just spent his day on the couch or in the gym, but it never came to his mind that his girlfriend could fancy a little support from him.

Those days always ended up in a fight, Natasha blaming him for not caring about her and Steve saying that she was wasting her time and that the dusted would never be back.

One day, after a video conference with the team, Natasha didn't hang up the call and fought with Steve again, but Carol heard every single word of it. She was still telling him that she needed him and Steve didn't listen, which shredded Carol's heart in million pieces, even more when the redhead left for her room, crying her eyes out.

Natasha couldn't believe Steve was being so egotistical, it wouldn't hurt him that much to help her tidying files while it destroyed her to hear from him that was she was doing was useless.

As much as she tried, Natasha couldn't get to sleep and eventually gave up at three AM. She went to the window and watched the snow falling from the sky, the nights of December were really getting cold and giving the redhead the best Christmas experience a couple of weeks earlier. But how could she enjoy Christmas when half of her family was gone, the other half not in good terms and when she herself couldn't stop fighting with her boyfriend.

After staring at the snowflake for a long hour, Natasha made her way back to bed, but when she turned her back to the window, she heard a loud thud and then a knock. Looking back, she saw Carol waving at her, her hair still floating and her inner energy still emanating of her body.

Natasha quickly went to the sliding door and let her enter, "Carol, what are you doing here?" she asked as the blonde fixed her golden hair.

"You didn't hang up the call earlier and I um… heard you."

After a couple of second, Natasha realised what she must have heard and looked down in shame, "Oh… Sorry about that."

"Oh no, it's okay," replied the blonde as she reached Natasha's elbow with her gloved hand, "I just figured you'd need… you know, a friend."

Natasha smiled as she looked down at Carol's hand, slowly sliding down her forearm until she reached her hand, "I guess a friend could be good right now," she said quietly before letting herself being pulled in a hug.

The last time she had felt so good might be when she and Steve finally got together, and even at the time she was totally in her right mind and the hug felt a bit odd. But right now, in Carol's arms, everything was right. The heat that came from her body kept her warm, her strong arms kept her safe, and when Natasha thought it couldn't get better, Carol pressed a soft kiss on her temple and suddenly it was like her head was spinning.

"I can't stay long," the blonde told her as she held her tighter, Natasha feeling like she was melting into her arms, "I was not far when you called so I thought I could pass by."

"Thank you," Natasha whispered as she stepped out of the hug, "I really needed this."

"I'm gonna go to my room and get a couple of hours of sleep before leaving. I hope you'll be asleep by then, it's not good for you, Natasha."

Natasha nodded, "I promise I will try."

After a smile, Carol stepped away, stopped at the door and looked back at the redhead before exiting the room.

Oddly, Natasha fell asleep within minutes, and when she woke up, there was an apple on her nightstand with a little note.

_You also need to eat._

_Hope to see you soon xx_

When Natasha thought the morning couldn't get better, she found Tony in the kitchen with two coffee in front of him, one with the redhead's name on it and the other with his. She greeted him with a hug, happily drank her coffee as they went to chat in the living room and laughed when he made a remark about Steve not being there, _as usual_ he said.

She was enjoying her time, glad to see her friend after a couple of months with only a few news, and the one he brought with him that day was the best Natasha had heard in a long time.

Pepper was pregnant and they wanted Natasha to be the godmother of their child. She obviously accepted, not without a few tears, and was already thinking of gifts she could get for this baby.

But soon, Tony had to leave and Natasha had to work, and the reality of her normal life came back.

Her _new_ normal life, life that Natasha was trying to find by to moving on.


	4. Closer

Closer

That was how Natasha's and Carol's relationship was growing.

Since her surprise visit in early December, Carol came back to Earth more regularly, almost once a week to spend a day or two with Natasha. Meanwhile, Steve had bought an apartment in Brooklyn and was sleeping there most of the time because it was closer to where his support group happened. Natasha would join him for the night a few days a week, mainly because she hated sleeping alone, but when Carol was around she would always stay at the compound with her, and that was when the male Captain would come too.

For once, Steve was not around when Carol landed on Earth, and even though Natasha knew the blonde liked him, she preferred to keep her for herself and didn't text him.

She was in the gym when Friday detected her presence in the atmosphere and continued her session until Carol found her there. Natasha was on treadmill when Carol approached her, a shit eating smirk that she always had on her face anytime she entered a room where Natasha was.

"You done soon with this?" she asked as she pointed at the machine.

Natasha looked at the panel control and stopped running, "I already did an additional mile."

"Wanna spar?"

The redhead had been training for a long hour, her muscles were a bit sore but she wasn't one to step away from a challenge. With a nod, she led Carol to the mat and they started to exchange punches and kicks.

The blonde, still in her space suit, was very agile and definitely stronger than Natasha, but she didn't seem to want to win, she just wanted to play. She was giving Natasha too many openings for her to throw punches, if she fought like this in real conditions, she would get her ass kicked within seconds. Carol still remained firm on her feet, as hard as the redhead tried to knock her down.

"You know," Carol panted as she dodged a left hook, "we never properly introduced ourselves."

Natasha, thinking it was just one of Carol tactics to disturb her, ignored her comment, even though it was true that she and Carol never shook hands and told the other their names.

Suddenly, Carol stopped pacing and extended her hand, "I'm Carol Danvers, nice to meet you," she said with a grin so big her eyes were closed.

With a chuckle, Natasha pushed Carol's hand away, but she put it right back in front of her and waited. Her guard still up, Natasha stared at Carol's hand until she eventually reached it, "Natalia Romanova, everybody calls me Nat-"

Before she could finish her sentence, Carol had pulled her in her arms and was hugging her tightly. Natasha giggled at first, thinking the blonde would release her, but, when Carol's arms were still around her after a dozen of seconds, Natasha let herself relax into the embrace and hugged back. She rested her chin on the taller woman's shoulder, closed her eyes and let out a satisfied sigh as Carol ran her thumb up and down the back of Natasha's neck.

"So your real first name is Natalia. Why does everybody calls you Natasha then?"

Natasha pulled out of the hug and locked her gaze with the blonde, "If I'm being honest, I don't know. I don't have any memory of someone calling me Natalia."

"What about your parents? How do they call you?"

Natasha suddenly felt her heart racing in her chest and had to look away to take a deep breathe. She had not thought of her parents in so long, she didn't even remember their faces, but she knew she used to have them.

Before Carol would panic, Natasha turned to her, "I don't remember them, they died when I was very young," she could feel that Carol wanted to say she was sorry for her so she stopped her and talked first, "Don't. It's okay, you couldn't know… And I think they called me Natalia."

"Okay," Carol mumbled as she walked towards Natasha, "Well, Natalia, it's a pleasure to meet you," she said again and pulled her closer.

Closer, like their relationship was getting.


	5. Safe

Safe.

That was how Natasha felt in Carol's presence.

Having Carol as a friend was definitely the only good thing that had happened to Natasha with the Snap. This woman was full of joy, despite everything she went through in her life, all her life experience, and she was sharing this joy with her friends, she was sharing it with Natasha every time she came back to Earth.

The most difficult was when she was away, which was most of the time since she was needed all over the universe, in multiple galaxies to help all these civilisations that, like Earth, were trying to rebound after half their population had disappeared in the wind. Hopefully Steve was still there, even though they still fought a lot, he spent more nights at the compound.

One night though, when Steve was there, Natasha had an awful night. It was like Wakanda all over again, she was with all the Avengers, fighting Thanos, and they lost again, and he snapped again and she saw her friends, Wanda, Sam, T'Challa, all of them fading away. She woke up with a start, panting and sweating but didn't awoke Steve who seemed to be fast asleep.

After half an hour, Natasha couldn't fall asleep again and left the bed. She wandered around the compound for a while, its emptiness all adding weight to Natasha's anxiety, especially as she passed by Wanda's room, all her belongings exactly where she left them.

Natasha didn't feel like she could sleep anymore and settled down in Carol's room, the one at the other end of the corridor, a room that had never been used until she arrived and made it her quarters. There was not a lot of her stuff, Natasha wasn't sure she had stuff, only a shirt was there, on the desk and a few files and pens that the blonde borrowed from Natasha.

The bed was undone, the last time Carol was there she had to leave in a hurry in the middle of the night and must not have to the time to do it properly. Natasha slowly approached it, wavering, and finally decided to do it so the blonde wouldn't have to during her next visit. Natasha noticed, for some reasons, that Carol was sleeping on the opposite side of the bed as she did, and thought that she would sleep well with her.

Natasha had almost finished when she slipped under the sheets and covers, on the side Carol slept and suddenly her scent was all over Natasha. It was like hugging Carol but less tight and hot. After a hesitation, Natasha took Carol's pillow, brought it to her nose and inhaled a deep breath. It was how Natasha imagined space smelt like, even though it was a silly thought, space must smell like nothing. Maybe it was just Carol, something fresh and sugary, that felt like it was made to help other feel comfortable.

With the pillow pressed against her chest, Natasha relaxed and eventually fell asleep.

Later on the morning, Natasha felt great, she had a good night of sleep in Carol's bed and went to the kitchen with a wide smile on her lips. There, she found Steve who was eating breakfast, "Where were you? I looked for you everywhere."

"Not everywhere apparently," Natasha joked as she sat opposite to him but he didn't laugh, "I was in Carol's room."

"Why?"

"I couldn't sleep and just walked around the compound until I arrived in Carol's room and… I don't know, I guess I felt safe there and I fell asleep," she explained.

Steve didn't seem very happy about it, he was probably jealous again, but for once he didn't say it or yelled at her, "Just tell me next time, I was worried."

Natasha loved it when Steve was soft and wanted to thank him for showing he cared. She went to his side of the table, sat on his lap and kissed him, it was what made him feel safe.

But Natasha, she felt safe in Carol's presence.


	6. Mistake

Mistake?

What it?

It had been a year since Thanos snapped his fingers, a year since half of all living creatures, humans but also animals, other species in space, had gone dusted, leaving their friends and families behind. It had also been almost a year since Natasha met Carol, the only good thing that happened in this year.

Waking up on this morning had been harder than all the ones before, because Natasha knew what was coming and it didn't motivate her to get out of her bed at all. She still exited her room and joined Steve in the living room. He was getting ready to go to a seminar that reunited hosts of support groups all over the US, they would talk about what were they best way to move on, something like that.

Natasha slouched on the couch and stared at the TV while Steve was finishing to pack when suddenly, a very well known blonde appeared on the screen. The spy instantly sat up and turned the volume up to hear her words.

_ "I think life has become harder for everyone and, as much as one wants to find who's fault it is, the only answer is Thanos. The Avengers did what they could, they fought him but he was stronger and they lost, we all lost but we can't blame them for that because they tried. And now, they are trying to fix it, but no one knows if it is possible… I just hope that the population can remember that and stop the hatred that is going on against the Avengers, because it doesn't do anything for the people we lost or for us, it just hurt people who've already been hurt and that's not fair. No one wants to be reminded when they failed, so let's not do it to them, not today, not ever." _

Natasha had not realised she had been crying until Steve put his hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. Since they lost, the Avengers had received countless amount of letters of people blaming them for the disappearance of their loved ones, some of them were even death threats. It affected Natasha more than she would ever admit, but it touched Carol too, because she didn't even know who Thanos was when she should have been there to fight him with the Avengers.

"You knew about this?" Natasha asked her boyfriend as she pointed at Carol on the TV.

He shook his head, "She communicates with you, she didn't tell you she would be there today?"

Natasha didn't reply, she was disappointed too that Carol could be around and wouldn't visit to talk.

"If she passes by, you tell her I said hello?" Steve asked as he took his bag.

Natasha nodded and stood up to give him a good bye kiss, "Drive safe," she said, glanced at the TV, and when she turned back to him he was gone.

It wasn't even eight o'clock, too early for any type of alcoholic beverages, but Natasha didn't really care during that day and took a first beer with her breakfast. Later, she poured something stronger in her orange juice, that was probably vodka considering the taste of it, and then she stole three bottles of wine from Tony's secret stock and drank them while watching old movies of life before the snap on TV.

It was probably time for dinner when she had drank them all down and, on her way to get a new one, she ran into Carol.

"Well, you look wasted," she told her as she slightly frowned.

Natasha chuckled like an idiot, "Yeah, I might be."

Without warning, Carol pulled Natasha by the arm and brought her back in the living room, "I'm making you dinner. If you move your ass from this couch I'll blast you."

Natasha didn't object and sat on the couch her chin resting on top of the backrest so she could stare at the blonde while she cooked for her. Every time Carol would glance at her, Natasha would dumbly smile, and when she joined her on the couch with a vegetable salad, Natasha thanked her with a kiss on the cheek.

They silently ate, Natasha wanting to ask Carol why she was on TV earlier or why she didn't come to see her sooner but she would forget about the idea before she could form the question in her head.

Carol put the plates and forks away when they were done and came back on the couch for Natasha to realise that she wasn't wearing her suit like earlier on the TV screen, "It was a great speech, what you said," she blurted out.

"Um, thanks…" she said shyly, her gaze not matching Natasha's, "I'm sorry, I should've told you I would pass by today."

"No no, it's fine!" Natasha exclaimed as she moved closer, her hands finding Carol's thigh, "I'm glad you're here," she added and cupped Carol's cheek, "really glad," she whispered as her eyes fell on the blonde's lips.

Before she knew it, Natasha was straddling Carol's lap, both her hands on her face as she kissed her. Feeling Carol kissing back made Natasha smile and when the blonde squeezed her thighs she moaned discreetly. But then, Carol's hands reached Natasha's jaw and she broke the kiss, "Natalia… we can't do that, you are with Steve."

"Steve is not there, you are," Natasha said before capturing Carol's lips again but she pushed her away, "I can't do that to him, I'm sorry," the blonde whispered before standing up and walked away.

In desperation, Natasha ran after her, stumbled her feet but managed to catch up, "Please, don't leave me, not today," she cried as she held Carol's waist. She eventually stopped walking and turned around to see Natasha's tears streaming down her cheeks. Carol couldn't stand there and watch Natasha sad, she couldn't help it, she had to take her in her arms and comfort her.

"Hey, shh, it's okay," the Captain murmured as she gently stroked Natasha's back, "Come with me."

Carol led Natasha to her room, then to her bed where she sat first and tapped beside her to invite Natasha to join her. Natasha complied and slipped under the sheets, tucked her face in the crook of Carol's neck where her scent was overwhelming and fell asleep in her arms.

A mistake, had it been one, really?


	7. Lost

Lost

That was how Natasha felt since it happened.

The day after their kiss, Carol and Natasha barely talked, and when they did the blonde told her that she was going to give Natasha some space so she could think and figure out what were her true feelings for the two Captains, and she really needed to.

Carol not visiting, it helped Natasha realising that she really missed her, and that she might have kissed her for a good reason. But at the same time, Steve was more present in her life, since he came back from this seminar, he was a better boyfriend, he was supporting her and they fought less. All of these attentions reminded her why she loved him, why she let herself fall for him even though she didn't want to be in a relationship, but at the same time she was only thinking about Carol in her free time.

After three months away, in the middle of the summer, Carol finally visited the compound and Natasha who couldn't stop herself from falling into her arms when she saw her. The blonde seemed genuinely happy to see her too and they spent a whole night catching up, but never mentioned their kiss nor Steve.

Her visits were weekly, Steve was there every time, which still didn't help Natasha with her feelings but at least she had great times with her two favourite people. They had fun, ate pizzas, burgers and other type of fast food that Carol hadn't had in a while, watched films that both Steve and Carol had missed while respectively being in the ice or in space.

When Natasha's birthday came, Carol had to come and was there at midnight to be the first person to wish it to her, knowing that Steve would be at his place while Natasha would be working at the compound. She did not have time to get Natasha a present but the redhead didn't mind, the fact that she was there was enough. Of course, Natasha asked if she could sleep in Carol's bed and the Captain couldn't refuse, it was her birthday after all.

Later on the day, Steve joined after a session with his support group and brought Natasha flowers. The three of them spend a lovely afternoon, chatting and laughing and for dinner Carol and Steve cooked Natasha's favourite food. Or rather, Carol cooked and Steve assisted her, he was not the best at making food.

Dessert was the moment for Natasha to blow out candles and make a wish but instead of doing that, the redhead asked for a favour. She wanted a hug from her two favourite people, at the same time, so they went to the couch, Natasha sat in the middle of it and one Captain on each side of her.

Natasha had thought that they be uncomfortable, but they both hugged her tight and enjoyed it as much as she did. Steve was the first to pulled out, and Carol, after a soft kiss on Natasha's shoulder, did it to and went to her room to leave the couple alone.

Curled up in bed with Steve, Natasha wished Carol would be there too, with them, or just with her, she wasn't sure.

Natasha was lost between her two Captains.


	8. Home

Home

That was what Carol was to Natasha.

Before Steve, Natasha had never dated anyone. Yes, she had sex with people, one night stands, but she never fell in love. Although, she was beginning to doubt she had ever been in love with Steve, their relationship was back to the usual fights every few days and, most importantly, Natasha didn't feel like she needed him in her left anymore, or at least not as her lover. They were good as friends, confidants but adding the romantic part in their relationship made it better for a couple of weeks at best, then they were back to the normal them, the only thing that changed was that they were fucking.

And even in that department, it wasn't always great. Steve wasn't bad in bed, Natasha would be lying if she said that, but he wasn't very experienced either. Also, Natasha preferred sex with women, it was always better, because they knew how another woman would like it, how _they_ would like it and they listened more, were more about their partner's pleasure when men were just going in and some times Natasha would orgasm.

The not so good sex wasn't the main reason Natasha wanted to leave Steve, the real reason were their arguments that were always about the same thing, Natasha's work being 'useless' and Steve not supporting her. She didn't know how she could support all of it, but when they were in a good place it was great to have him around, in her bed especially, Natasha still not capable of sleeping alone, except in Carol's bed. Therefore Natasha was keeping it for herself and hoped it would get better.

But, on Christmas Eve, Steve decided to complain about how he missed Bucky and how he wished he was there because he loved Christmas. Natasha couldn't believe he even dared to complain when he was doing nothing to help the Avengers to keep Earth going or to find a plan to bring the dusted back – as much of a fantasy as this was. Natasha snapped at him, said he was a hypocrite to tell Natasha that her work was useless when, then, he cried about wanting his best friend back. Steve yelled back, telling Natasha that she couldn't blame her for missing his best friend, and he left the compound for his apartment.

Outraged, Natasha didn't finish her dinner and went straight to bed. In her room, she stared at her bed for a little while before leaving to Carol's, knowing that it was the only place she would feel safe enough to sleep. The blonde's scent was again all over the sheets and Natasha was almost asleep when she heard noises outside of the room.

Before she could go check what – or who – was there, Carol entered the room, still in her suit but with a present under her arm, "Nat! Hey!… What are you doing in my bed?"

"Steve and I had an argument and I can't sleep in my bed alone."

"But you can in mine?" Carol laughed as she asked but Natasha was very serious, "Somehow, yes."

"Oh! Okay. Mind if I join?"

Natasha smiled, "It's your bed, Carol."

With a few motions, Carol was out of her suit and went to bed with only shorts and a bra on, which made it hard for Natasha not to check her out.

"What's that?" Natasha asked as she pointed at the present that Carol had put on her desk, "That's your Christmas present, but it's not Christmas yet so you can't have it."

Natasha laughed as she nodded, she didn't really care about presents, she was just curious to see what Carol got for her.

As Carol slipped in bed, Natasha moved closer to her and snuggled up with her, "I think I should break up with Steve," she said, more thinking out loud and actually stating she would.

"Because you guys fight a lot?"

"Because he doesn't make me happy anymore. I shouldn't be in a relationship that hurts me more than it give me joy."

Carol pressed her lips on the top of Natasha's head, "Yeah, you deserve to be happy. But still, think about it, okay?"

Natasha slightly nodded before she buried her face in the crook of Carol's neck and fell asleep within minutes. The next day, she woke up, the side of her head resting on Carol's chest, the blonde holding her tight with both her arms. It was the first time Natasha was awake before Carol and she took this time to stare at her and her sleepy little face until she eventually woke up too.

The redhead was about to greet her partner in cuddles when they heard a knock on the door. They both stared at it for a moment before sharing a gaze, "Please, don't tell him I'm here," Natasha demanded as Carol sat up.

The blonde looked at her and smiled, "Okay."

As Carol walked to the door, Natasha couldn't stop herself from staring at her ass, but when she was about to open the door she suddenly looked away and hid behind the covers.

"Carol!" Steve exclaimed as she slightly opened the door, just enough for him to see half of her face and therefore nothing of the inside of the room. He paused for a couple of second, he seemed surprised to see her, "Steve, hi."

"You wouldn't know where Nat is? I've been awful to her yesterday and I want to apologise."

After a short silence, Carol spoke up, "Sorry, haven't seen her." Natasha smiled when she heard Carol's lie, even though she shouldn't

"If you do, please tell her I'm looking for her."

"I will."

"Thanks."

Natasha stayed under the bed sheets after Carol closed the door. She felt her climbing into bed, giggled and tried to keep the cover on her head when Carol pulled them away, "You heard that, right?" Carol asked, speaking of what Steve said, that he wanted to apologise.

"I did but I still don't want to speak to him."

"Why?"

"I'm good here and you never make me feel like shit, unlike him. For now, I rather stay cuddled up in bed with you, if you'll have me."

Carol grinned, "I'd really like that."

Before Natasha knew it, Carol was with her under the bed sheets, holding her against her chest.

Natasha was where she was meant to be. She was home.


	9. Done

Done.

Natasha was done with Steve and his behaviour.

Since the Snap, April was a tough month for everyone. It was when Thanos made half of the universe disappear, when he ripped off the other half's hearts with all their losses.

What Natasha hated the most about this was that he got to live after what he did, not for a long time but he did. In theory, his snap was completely random, he could have been taken away by it too, but lucky was on his side and got to see that he succeeded, as a big middle finger in all the remaining people's faces.

They were hurting everyday, so many things reminded them of their defeat, but Steve criticizing Natasha's work, all the time, was the hardest part of her days. He had three arguments and had a rotation of them in every fight, "We can't get them back," that reminded Natasha that she never see Wanda, Maria or Sam again, but at the same time motivated her to keep going in case they could find a way to have them back, "Damage control is useless, the world is already destroyed," that Natasha took as "_you_ are useless," and finally, the worst one, "it's like you enjoy suffering."

This last one wasn't that much used by the Captain, but when he did, it wrecked Natasha more than she already was.

But, that day, when Steve said that Natasha must like to suffer, the former assassin saw red and would have killed him out of anger if she had not learnt how to keep her cool. After thinking of different way to make him shut up forever, Natasha took a long breathe and threw him out of the compound. At first, he refused to leave, but Natasha smartly let him know that he didn't have anything to say about it, that he was still allowed here because she asked Tony to let him and she could quickly call him and ask him to take back Steve's access to the perimeter.

When he was gone, Natasha burst into tears, the realisation of what she was thinking about doing to her boyfriend and her held back emotions added to her constant exhaustion and anxiety too much for her to bare. On her knees in the middle of the living room, she sobbed loud cries, an ocean of tears soaking the floor and her clothes.

With shaking hands, she took her phone in her pocket and looked for someone to call. Steve's name was the first in the list, which hurt her once more, then it was Clint's that she had called like she did every week, hoping he would finally answer. There was Carol, but she was so far in space that she couldn't make it in days, Rhodey, who was in Wakanda discussing things with Okoye, and Tony.

She had not expected she would actually call him that day, but he was the only person close enough to make it to the compound in less than an hour. When she pressed her finger on the screen of her phone, she was sobbing again, her brain anticipating hundreds of scenarios and things that he would say to her. But none of them happened. Still crying, she told him that she fought with Steve and needed someone and the Iron Man said nothing but _I'm on my way._ She didn't hang up the call while he was driving to the compound and neither did he, he kept his phone close and asked every few minutes if she was still there.

He arrived half an hour later after running many red lights and speeding, but at least he was there. When she saw him, all the weight of the world left Natasha's shoulders and she fell into his arms. He didn't ask what Steve had done this time, he surely didn't want to hear about him and Natasha didn't want to think about him either, she needed to think about something else.

Instead, they talked about Morgan, Tony's daughter, who was barely a year old. Tony said that he wanted to take her with him when Natasha called but she was too quietly asleep so he called Happy instead to have someone watching after her. He showed her his latest photos of his girl, a proud smile on his lips and it quickly warmed up Natasha's broken heart.

As they made coffees, they chattered more about Tony's happy life and, if Natasha was being honest, she envied him. I found joy in the chaos, created a perfect human being that would never know what was the life before Thanos, one of the few people in the universe that was not affected by the Mad Titan's doing. Tony had moved on, Natasha was happy for him, but she couldn't and would forever be a witness of those would could and did.

In the middle of a conversation, her eyes wandered around the room and she saw Steve's jacket, that he must have forgotten when he left. She thought about asking Tony to block his access to the compound, or to show her how to but it would be a harsh move. Tony noticed she was lost in her thought and brought her back to reality, asking her what was going on.

She blinked and looked back at him, "I'm just so done with him."


	10. Terrified

Terrified.

That was how Natasha felt when she got the news.

It was very late during the same day Natasha and Steve fought, Tony was still there, washing the dishes of the dinner they shared, when Natasha got a call from space.

Seeing from whom was the call, Natasha smile, her favourite Captain was surely going to give her her report of the week, she never knew when it was late or not on Earth and called at any time of the day or the night. But when Natasha answered, it wasn't the blonde that appeared as a hologram, it was a light green alien. When he spoke, Natasha recognised him from that one time Carol made her listen to an audio report where he talked too, Talos, leader of the Skrulls.

Natasha suddenly felt sick, if he called via Carol's communicator, it couldn't be good, "Miss Romanoff, I'm Talos, Carol must have told you about me."

She nodded, her throat was so twisted that she couldn't make any sound.

"I'm calling to inform you that Carol is badly hurt. During our last mission, she had to save a whole population of global extinction, they were threatened by the worst meteor storm we have ever seen and if she had not pushed them away from the meteors trajectory, they would all be dead."

He didn't explain how she got hurt, but considering the situation, Natasha guessed how it happened, the blonde must have been hit by meteors too big for her.

"How bad is it?" asked Tony as he stepped besides Natasha, his hand finding the middle of her back.

"I've never seen her in such an awful shape, yet it's not the first time she gets badly injured."

"Is she gonna make it?" Natasha blurted out, somehow without crying.

"We can't know for now, our best doctors are doing everything in their power to save her but her fate is uncertain, I'm afraid."

"God," sighed Tony as he glanced at Natasha who was stoic, "You okay?"

"Can I come to your planet?"

Both Tony and Talos were surprised by her demand, but the alien quickly answered her, "If you have a way to come, then yes, I'll give you the coordinates."

"I do, but I don't know how long it will take to get there."

"A day is my guess. In the meantime I promise you I will do everything I can for you to see her alive."

With a nod, she thanked him and hang up the call. Tony was staring at her, completely lost, but when Natasha called the Benatar, he understood.

"Rocket, how far away are you from Earth?"

"Closest jump point three hours away, why?" the Racoon asked.

"I need you to get me to the Skrull planet," she told him, not explaining why.

"Alright Red, see you then," he said and the communication stopped.

Those three hours felt like centuries, after packing a bag of clothes she wasn't sure she would need, Natasha had nothing else to do than wait. Tony offered to stay with her, but it was past midnight and he had a wife and daughter who needed him, he couldn't come back home at three in the morning just because he was keeping Natasha company.

When the Benatar finally landed, Natasha ran inside, gave Nebula and Rocket the coordinates of the planet and they took off the second after.

A day of travel across the galaxies could sound exciting, Natasha had the chance to see planets and stars she could've never imagined, but she was so worried for Carol that she didn't even give a look outside. She could only stare at the picture of her, Carol and Steve they took during her last birthday. Still mad at Steve, she folded the photo so she only saw Carol and herself, both joyfully smiling, arm in arm. Looking at this, she realised it had been a year since she kissed the blonde, and since then she had dreamt an incalculable amount of time to kiss her again.

Approaching the planet, Nebula came to Natasha and asked why they were there. Feeling tears gathering in her eyes, Natasha just said that Carol was hurt and stopped, she didn't want to cry in front of them, especially since she didn't get any updates from Talos. Carol could be doing great, she could already be awake when Natasha would arrive and mock her for coming all the way there for her. Or she could be dead, and this option terrified Natasha to her core, this wasn't possible, she couldn't be dead.

The moment they landed, Natasha was ready to get out, even though she had no idea where to go. Talos was waiting on the other side, his face empty of any expression that would tell her what to expect. He made a sign with his hand, telling her to follow him and Natasha complied while Rocket and Nebula stayed in the Benatar.

They walked in long dark corridors, passed rooms filled with injured Skrulls, until they reached an elevator. Natasha got in and stood beside Talos, dying to ask him how was Carol but she couldn't get herself to do it, too scared to hear a bad news. After a dozen of seconds, the elevator stopped and the door opened on a way more welcoming floor, colourful walls and doors that reassured the redhead a little.

After a few more steps, Talos stopped in front of the door and turned to Natasha, "I have to warn you, she took a very bad hit, it's hard to be in there."

Natasha allowed herself a moment to breathe, closed her eyes and inhaled deeply before looking back at Talos and nodded to tell him she was ready.

She felt like her heart stopped when he opened the door and she glimpsed a hospital bed. Taking a step forward, she heard a machine beeping, that must be checking Carol's heart beat. Walking further inside, Natasha finally saw the blonde and her legs almost failed her. She was linked to many wires, was laying on her left side, where she was probably less injured, while her right side was almost fully exposed, no cloth to cover her but on her breasts. There were multiple bandages on her ribs and hip as well as her forearm and shoulder but her belly and biceps were bare and seemed fine. Her left hand was completely wrapped in a bandage, Natasha even wondered if she still had her hand at all. And her face, God, her face. Where she didn't have bandages and gauzes on her face were bruises of all colours and dark shadows of tiredness under her eyes.

Natasha was just standing at the end of the bed, tears running down her cheek, when she felt Talos' hand on her shoulder. He gently pushed her towards the chair that was at the level of Carol's chest and gave her her right hand, that was pretty much intact.

"Since she's been out of surgery, she didn't wake up. My best men are coming regularly to take care of her but for now they still can't tell when she'll wake up, if she wakes up at all," that last part felt like a dagger right in Natasha's heart, Carol not waking up wasn't in her list of options, the only scenario she could accept was Carol waking up and being fine, "I don't know about you, but in our culture, we think it's good to talk to people when they are in a coma, our studies showed that they can hear us and that it helps them heal."

"Do you? Talk to her?" Natasha asked with a shaking voice.

Talos nodded, "Every morning and every evening. My wife, Soren also comes when she can and talks to her."

"Okay," Natasha sighed as she looked up at Carol's face. It was the hardest thing to do, to watch her face usually so pretty and joyful being covered with bandages, burns and fatigue, but she did it, until her sight became blurry because of all her tears.

"I'll leave you two alone," Talos said after giving Natasha's shoulder an encouraging squeeze.

And she needed all the strength in the entire universe. Natasha wanted to talk to Carol so much but she was scared that when she would open her mouth, nothing would get out of it but sobs. Her tears were uncontrollable, she couldn't get herself to stop them, but her breathing was getting calmer, so she finally spoke up.

"Hey you… You had to be a hero, didn't you?" somehow, Natasha chucked and brought Carol's hand to her mouth, "Tony is worried about you. Nebula and Rocket don't know much but they must be too and I… Well, I think I won't be able to leave this planet of you don't come back to me," she laughed again before pressing her lips on Carol's knuckle, "I need you, Carol. I need you to be okay because you are the only reason I still am. I don't think I would have survived all this if you had not knocked on my door that day, and I know I can't live without you anymore… Just please, come back to me, because I'm terrified of what life could be if you're not in it."


	11. Truth

The truth.

That was what Natasha was facing.

Natasha stayed with Carol for an entire week, by her side for at least eighteen hours per day, and when she was not there, sleeping or eating, Nebula or Rocket were taking her place. On the fifth day, Carol woke up, in an unmeasurable pain. She was hurting so much that the doctors had to give her morphine to knock her out. Natasha didn't get the chance to talk to her, but she was there all the way and the blonde knew it, she saw her. Natasha was holding her hand, as much as Carol's squeezes hurt, she held her hand and stroked her hair to give her some comfort, a very small amount, yes, but Natasha had to do something for her, she couldn't just stand there and watch her suffer.

The next day, while Natasha was sleeping in the Benatar, Carol woke up again. Rocket was with her at the time and he ran to get the redhead who rushed back at her bedside. When she entered the room, two people were with Carol, changing her bandages. The blonde was topless and so cold she was trembling, but the doctors couldn't do it another way, they needed to change everything, including the gauzes on her chest and in her back. She only had a large band aid on her left temple now, the rest of her face was bare and had healed quite nicely already, so Natasha went to Carol's right side and held her hand. When the pain was too big, Carol pressed the side of her head against Natasha's chest in desperate need of comfort and warmth that Natasha was more than glad to give her.

When they were finally done, the two women got a short time to talk. Carol was astonished that Natasha decided to fly all the way there to be with her, and that she called the Guardians when they were in mission. Natasha told her that she couldn't sit on her ass in the compound and wait for news, she wanted to be by her side, it never occurred to her that she would not go. After a dozen of minutes, Carol was already exhausted and went back to sleep, Natasha holding her hand until she was unconscious.

It had been a whole week when Rocket received a call from the compound. It was Rhodey, saying that he had found a trace of Clint and that Natasha had to come back to go after him, she was the only person he would talk to. Carol was asleep at that moment, they had talked a bit more a couple of hours earlier, Natasha couldn't wait for her to wake up again to say goodbye. She wrote her a short note instead where she explained that she had an emergency but promised she would come back if she could and wished her a good recovery. Before leaving, she stared at the blonde for a minute, taking in the view of her relaxed face despite the injuries and pressed a kiss on her temple.

The fly back was thousands times better than when they went there, Natasha could breathe, Carol was going to get through it, she just needed a few weeks of rest and she would be back on her feet. Again, Natasha stared at the pictures of them, and that was the first moment since she left Earth that she thought of Steve. She had left a note for him so he would know why she wouldn't answer the phone or be in the compound.

Lights were on in the compound when they landed, meaning Steve was most likely there, he was the only one to stay there at night other than Natasha, Tony and Rhodey would always go to there places when it was getting dark.

He was waiting for her in the living room, sitting at her desk, "Well, I thought you wouldn't come back."

"I wrote you a note, Carol was injured."

When she said that, Steve showed her the paper and then threw it away, "Yeah, and that's the only thing you wrote, _Carol is badly injured, I have to be with her,_ you didn't say how long you'd be gone or even addressed a word to me."

"She was dying, Steve!" she shouted at him, dropping her bag on the floor, "I couldn't stay there and wait, I had to be with her, and I couldn't know how long it would take for her to get better."

"And that's it, you really think I'm going to believe that you left your work because you _had _to be with her."

Natasha scoffed, "It's not like my job matters anyway, you always love to remind me of that."

"You flew all the way across the universe to be by her side, Natasha! How can you still stand there and deny it?"

"Deny what?" she asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

"That you are in love with her."

There was a silence as they stared at each other. Natasha was confused and thought she had misheard him, "What?"

"Please, just don't," Steve said calmly as he stood up and walked to the other side of the desk,"It's fine, she is good to you, I'm not. If I had been you I would have broken up with me months ago."

"I- I'm not," Natasha stammered trying to make sense of everything but she couldn't concentrate.

"Come on, Natasha, I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking that. And it's not like you were ever in love with me anyway."

"That's not true."

Steve lightly scoffed as he folded his arms, "We dated for four years, Nat, and in those four years you never told me you love me."

"Steve, I-"

"No, it's all good," he cut off and walked to her level, "I want you to be with someone who makes you happy, and I'm not this person, she is. Carol is the person you need, she is the person you _love._"

As Natasha came to realisation that Steve's words were the truth, she gave him a thanking smile for his mature reaction and took his hand, "So… we are over."

"We should have been a long time ago," Steve said quietly before taking Natasha in his arms, "It's okay."

Stepping out of the embrace, Natasha started to overthink about her and Carol, "You think she likes me? Carol."

Steve let out a mocking laughter, "I think she's been in love with you since day one, why do you think I was jealous?"

"Really! How did I not see it?"

"Blindly in love is the phrase, right?" Natasha chuckles, "Love is blind."

"Yeah, whatever. You two care too much about the other for it to be just friendly, now you just have to tell her the truth.

Telling Carol the truth, that would be the hardest part.


	12. Hesitating

Hesitating.

Why was she?

It had been a week and a half when Natasha got a call from Carol, telling her that she was discharged from the hospital and that she was coming back home for her birthday. When they talked about the how Carol would come though, they had a bit of an argument. The blonde wanted to fly back to Earth, she said she was totally fine to do so despite the fact that she was in a coma not three weeks ago. On the contrary, Natasha wanted Carol to take a ride with the Guardians in the Benatar but the Captain complained that it would take a day when she could make it in less than twenty hours. Natasha won in the end by saying that she wouldn't hug her if she flew on her own and it was enough for her to give in.

They had such a great day, Tony visited with Pepper and Morgan, the girl spent the afternoon in Carol's arms, fast asleep and Natasha couldn't stop staring at them and how cute they both were. Later, they had dinner, just the two of them, dinner that looked a lot like a date considering how nicely set was the table, how sophisticated was the food and how well dressed they were, but they never said officially that it was.

The day finished in Carol's bed with the two women in their pyjamas and cuddling. Natasha thought it was logical that she would spend the night there, but when Carol asked, she realised she had not once mentioned her feelings for the blonde, "Steve is not joining you tonight? I thought he would pass by."

Natasha suddenly felt uncomfortable, she didn't know how to explain that she and Steve weren't dating anymore without saying that she was the reason, "Um… no. He had a thing and is staying at his place."

Shame all over her face, Natasha hid herself into the bed sheets and waited for Carol's reaction. She hated that she lied to her but she was so scared to tell her that she liked her, in a non friendly way, that she couldn't get herself to be truthful. But, at the same time, Natasha wanted to kiss Carol so hard, she didn't know how she had managed to resist her lips but she could feel that she would give in very soon if they didn't go to sleep.

"Well," eventually mumbled the blonde, "I'm glad I was with you today, I had a great time."

This was one of the nicest thing someone ever said to Natasha and it made her want to kiss her even more but there was this voice in the back of her head telling her that the blonde didn't like her like that and it terrified her. She couldn't tell her, she couldn't jeopardise their friendship like that, she needed a sign and for now she had not seen one so she kept it for her.

She still gave Carol a hug before turning off the lights to thank her for her words and as one last birthday present.

That night, Natasha had some difficulties to fall asleep, too occupied thinking about whether she should tell her feelings to the woman beside her to waste time in unconsciousness.

Natasha was hesitating, yet she was in love with Carol and wanted nothing else than her in her life.


	13. Love

Love.

That was what Natasha felt for Carol.

It had been more than a month since Carol's birthday, the blonde had visited two more times and Natasha still hadn't told her she was in love with her.

The redhead was simply terrified to tell the truth, she was scared that Carol didn't feel the same way and that she would leave her alone like she did after she kissed her. She couldn't make this mistake again, she was done doing the wrong thing, done being hurt, she needed to be sure or she would lose her safe place, her home. She was still hesitating, she was still lost, she was crying every night in her bed because she didn't know how to do it, despite the fast that Steve told her more than once that Carol loved her back. Natasha had never been closer to anyone in her life, she had never wanted anyone more than Carol in her life but she was stuck in this infinite loop of overthinking and moving on from it to finally tell her seemed like an unattainable dream.

Carol came back on Earth for Steve's birthday and looked for him in the compound first, where she ran into Natasha, "Natalia, you wouldn't know where your boyfriend is?"

Natasha blinked, not understanding the question at first, "No."

"Do you ever know where he is? I feel like every time I come here you never know."

Natasha felt the urge to tell Carol everything but she didn't know how. Instead of talking, she went for acting and kissed her. Everything became right when their lips met, the knot that had been in Natasha's stomach for weeks disappeared, replaced by millions of butterflies, the constant shame and guilt from her lies faded away and she would make sure they would never come back.

But again, Carol broke the kiss, and before she could use Steve as a reason for them not to kiss, Natasha spoke first, "I'm in love with you," she stated straight away, that way she was sure that have the blonde's attention, "Steve and I broke up when I came back from space, he made me realise that I have feelings for you and I haven't seen him since. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I was scared that you wouldn't love me back…" seeing Carol's blank face, Natasha started to doubt that the blonde did love her back, "I'm still not sure you d-"

Carol's lips were back on hers before she could finish her sentence, longing and passion in the way she kissed her. To make sure the blonde wouldn't break the kiss this time, Natasha wrapped her arms around her neck and gripped her t-shirt, pulling her closer than ever. Carol smiled into the kiss when Natasha's tongue slipped into her mouth, shyly at first but the moment Carol gave her free access, Natasha didn't stop herself anymore and kissed with eager.

Still in the middle of the corridor, Carol started to explore Natasha's body as one of her hands found its way under her tank top and slid up and down her back. Feeling playful, Natasha slowly pushed Carol against the nearest wall, a hand on her chest, and when she was pressed between it and her body, the redhead took a hold of Carol's hands and put them above her head. Pulling away, Carol smirked as Natasha nuzzled her nose, eyes still closed. Eventually, Natasha released Carol, her hands falling back on her waist as if it was where they were meant to be.

With a questioning gaze, Natasha asked for more explanations, this kiss – making out – was great but she needed to hear it, she needed to know Carol shared the same feelings, "I'm in love with you, too. I've always been…" she paused and brought her hand up to Natasha's cheek, her thumb gently running up and down as she continued, "When you kissed me that night, I panicked because of Steve, but I wanted you so _hard_ that I had to leave or I would've taken you for myself."

"You should have."

Carol giggled as she pressed her forehead against Natasha's, "I convinced myself that it was all in my head but then you showed up on a planet on the other side of the universe for me, I was so confused."

"I know, I was too, but now I'm sure of it," Natasha tiptoed and closed the gap between their lips for a tender kiss, "I love you, Carol."

"I love you, Natalia."


	14. Family

Family.

That was what they were to one another.

Natasha didn't waste anytime after they got together and told their friends the good news. A week later, they were invited at Tony's and Pepper's for lunch, Happy and Rhodey being there too. It quickly became a regular thing, the couple would go at the lakeside house every month for lunch, spend the afternoon, have teas and then would go back to the compound and work until Natasha would fall asleep on her desk, Carol carrying her to bed every time she did.

But one night, Carol fell asleep first, therefore when Natasha passed out on her desk, there was nobody to get her to bed, they were both in living room. In the middle of the night, Carol woke up and realised where she was, not in bed, not cuddled up with Natasha. She looked around, the lights at first blinding her, but then she saw her redhead, the side of her head pressed against random sheets of paperwork, a strand of hair covering her face.

When Carol got up and walked in direction of Natasha, the later woke up with a start and got off of her chair, a bit of panic in her eyes until she saw Carol and calmed down, "Hey, you okay?" the blonde asked as she stepped before her girlfriend, her hand mindlessly reaching her face.

"Um… No, not really," Natasha muttered as she looked down.

"What's going on?" Carol wondered with a soft tone as she tilted her head to make Natasha looking at her. When she did, Carol instantly glimpsed the pain behind her tired dark green irises.

"It's just that every time I open my eyes, I see something that reminds me that we lost and I just…" she sighed heavily,"I can't bare it anymore."

"Even me…" Carol said in a whisper, her hand leaving the redhead's face.

"What? No, Carol," Natasha assured, this time being to one cupping her girlfriend's face,"You are the only one making me forget everything, you are the reason I'm still standing."

Despite her very sincere words, Carol was still bowing her head, her eyes avoiding Natasha's, "Hey, look at me," Natasha ordered, her voice firm but still gentle, "I love you, Carol," when she said that, the blonde finally matched her gaze, "I know you hold yourself responsible for what happened, you think you should have been there but you couldn't know, Carol, you were galaxies away helping other people who needed you as much as we did."

"I let Earth down, I failed all of you and it cost your family."

Natasha shook her head, "It cost me friends. My only family is you."

A grin instantly appeared on Carol's face, and with it, giggles of happiness, "God, I love you so much."

The smaller woman pulled her girlfriend in her arms, kissed her cheek as she did before they started rocking.

Natasha used to thing that the Avengers were her family, that they all had each other's back, but she recently discovered that it was a very one sided relationship. She thought of them that way, but the contrary was far from it, they were barely checking up on her, especially since the snap when she did so many effort to keep contact, she still sent text to Thor, Clint and Bruce despite the fact that they never texted back.

Natasha had a family though, and this family was Carol.


	15. Reunion

Reunion.

That's how one would call it.

It had been more than two and a half years, they were close to Christmas, when Natasha decided to organise a reunion. She knew they would all want to be with their own families for the occasion, she too would like to be alone with Carol for it, but for Christmas Eve, she figured they could spend it together.

She invited them all, the original Avengers, even though she knew the majority of them wouldn't even bother to reply, and the new ones, for them she had more hopes. In the end, Tony and his family accepted as well as Rhodey, the Guardians and Okoye too. As anticipated, Thor, Bruce and Clint didn't answer her text and Steve said he rather not come, especially since Tony would be there, he didn't want to atmosphere to be awkward because of him.

Carol landed on Earth a couple of days before Christmas Eve and helped Natasha preparing everything, from the tree and the decoration to the food. Natasha was proud of what they did, they managed to turn the living room of the compound into a welcoming place, something it never felt like before, it had always been just a work space for them.

The Starks came early on the 24th, that way the couple would enjoy the company of Morgan before she would have to go to bed, around the moment they would have dinner. Playing with this joyful little girl confirmed one thing to Natasha, she wanted to have a child, hers and Carol's. The blonde was so at ease with this kid, it was a second nature in her, she was just doing it, playing and taking care of her at the same time, even Pepper was amazed by how easy it was for Carol to feed her daughter, she always struggled for that.

They had not discussed the matter yet, Natasha thought it was too early in their relationship, but one day they might have to, because this desire to have a child was not going away but the need for Natasha to retire was, in fact, increasing at fast speed. But, for now, she couldn't, she still had this little pinch of hope that they would bring the dusted back that motivated her to continue her work, and her ego also wanted to show Steve she didn't do all this for nothing.

The dinner was a big mess, it was loud and the different conversations were hard to follow, but that was the spirit of the Avengers and Natasha enjoyed every second of it. It brought her back to the good old days, the Shawarma after New York, that wasn't messy but still odd in a way, the restaurant was half destroyed but the owner still cooked for them, all the meetings and briefing when they were running after HYDRA, these were loud. Despite the fact that more than half of the team was messing, it was Natasha's favourite dinner with the Avengers, because it was the first time Carol was a part of it. It was like she had always been in the team, or maybe the fact that the team was now more formed by new Avengers than originals or those who joined after Ultron was the reason, Carol, Okoye, Rocket and Nebula all met at the same time and were a kind of team of their own.

In the middle of dessert, Tony asked a question no one saw coming, "Nat, where's Cap?"

They looked at him, confused gazes and eyebrows raised on all faces, and Carol chuckled, "Why everybody's asking me where he is?"

"Cause _you_ are the boss now," Tony said with a smirk, "you are supposed to know where you guys are."

"Well, he is not a part of the team anymore. And, for your information he declined because you'd be there."

Pepper gasped, "See, I told you! You have to forgive him Tony, after all this time."

"I'd be happy to forgive him if he wants, but he has to come to me. It's like he is avoiding me."

Rocket stepped in, "Considering what you guys said the last time you talked, I'm not surprised he is not thrilled to see you."

"Yeah, whatever," were the last words of the conversation.

Natasha had to admit, she didn't think Tony would ever forgive Steve, but in times like these everything could happen. Maybe Tony was more mature now, maybe having a baby changed him, it did change him, Natasha just didn't know it changed him that much.

It was getting late when Tony and his family left, Rhodey riding with them too. The others were staying at the compound for the night, Okoye had an early flight for Wakanda the next day and the Guardians would leave at some point, Christmas not being a thing in space.

It left Natasha and Carol in the calm of their room, that was actually Carol's room, but Natasha had moved all her stuff there when they got together. When she entered, Natasha saw her girlfriend lying on their bed with very little clothes covering her skin.

Natasha smirked, they were up for another kind of reunion tonight.


	16. Valentine

Valentine.

They were each other's.

Carol surprised Natasha when she visited her for Valentine's day, it was their first together and she wouldn't miss the occasion, especially since nobody needed her help in the universe or had asked for it. She landed early in the morning and slipped into bed with the redhead, who didn't woke up until a few hours later. When she did, she freaked out, jumped on top of her and hugged her for long minutes.

They began the day by going out for a breakfast at Starbucks, strolled in an empty central park and went back to the compound. After a simple lunch, they cuddled up on a couch and watched old romcoms until the Guardians called. Rocket asked if the surprise went well, which told the redhead that Carol had prepared this visit in advance. It turned out that they were all aware of it, even Okoye and Rhodey who mocked the couple for how cute they were together.

After the call, Natasha and Carol went to the kitchen and cooked dinner then ate it. Only when they were done, they noticed they did not prepare dessert. With what was in the fridge and the cupboards, they made whipped cream that they ate with strawberries that Carol had bought for the occasion. Teasing and playing, they fed each other, Natasha spreading cream on Carol's nose on purpose just to lick it off her.

Dessert quickly turned into something more sensual when Carol lifted Natasha off the floor and put her on a counter. Her hands on her girlfriend's ass, Carol pulled her into a passionate kiss, her tongue that still tasted like strawberries making its way inside Natasha's mouth with ease. Arms around her neck and legs around her waist, Natasha kissed back with eager, waiting for the moment the blonde would carry her to their bedroom but they were interrupted before she could.

"Hey Nat- Oh, my God, I'm so sorry," said an embarrassed flushed-cheeks Steve, his hand in front of his face to hide his sight.

Natasha quickly released Carol who took a step back and looked down in shame, "Rogers, why are you here?" she asked.

"I am looked for some of my old clothes. I supposed they must be there."

The redhead got off the counter and walked to him, "It must be in my room, I'll get them with you."

"No no, I can do it on my own," he began as he looked back at Carol, "you two just… enjoy your night, yeah."

With a chuckle, Natasha gave him a pat on the shoulder before he left and went back to Carol, "Well… that was awkward," she said with a flirty tone as her hands found Carol's chest, "but he told us to enjoy the night so why don't we…"

Taking the hint, Carol slipped her hand on Natasha's hips until she reached her ass and lifted her up. Both giggling, they went to their room to celebrate Valentine's day as a couple would.


	17. Hope

Hope.

That's what Scott brought, but it was not his girlfriend.

Natasha was talking with Steve who made the honour to visit, and not to so his laundry, when Scott rand at the gate of the Avengers' compound gate. He explained some insane theories that would help them create time travel, and Natasha was so desperate to bring the dusted back that she listened to him and started thinking about the how.

It had been five years since the snap, Natasha's hopes were at their lowest and she was still working because Carol motivated her too. In their last holographic conference, the blonde had told her she wasn't coming back to Earth for a long time, too busy in space with all the messes on different planet to be able to make a detour to see her girlfriend. It was a hard news to hear, Natasha had not seen her in four months, so no need to say that she missed her incredibly.

The whole process of creating a time travel machine took some time and different people to make it. At first, Natasha and Steve went to Tony, but he quickly told them that their idea was impossible and that they should move on. Then, they called Bruce, who answered their call for once, and there they discovered that he had merged with the Hulk to become a better version of them both. He was sceptical about the time travel, it wasn't his thing, but he still accepted to try.

After some fright and failed attempts of Bruce's machine, Tony came back to the compound with a plan for a machine that would work. Helped by the Guardians, Scott and the old Avengers all reunited, they built the machine and a test made by Clint confirmed them that it all worked.

The last thing they had to do was to plan where and when they would go back in time to get the Infinity stones. It took them a couple of days to figure it out, but they eventually found three moments in time where they could go. In the three periods were five teams, Thor and Rocket would go in Asgard to get the Reality Stone, Bruce would deal with the Time Stone in New York while Tony, Scott and Clint would get the Space and Mind stones in the same city. The last team separated in two was Rhodey and Nebula on mission for the Power Stone while Natasha and Steve would go to a foreign planet for the Soul Stone.

Everything set up, it gave them on last night before the ultimate mission to get everyone back.

When finally alone in her room, Natasha had to call her girlfriend to explain her the whole plan, but a part of it she didn't like, "I asked around about this planet, Vormir, and I don't like it."

"What do you mean?" asked Natasha as she chewed on a mouthful of pasta.

"I've been told that when two people go there, only one comes back and I don't want take my chances on which one of you two will."

"Carol, there is no other way, we have to get them all. But I'm sure we can make it alive with Steve, we are good fighters you know," Natasha laughed but Carol kept a straight fight, "It's not about fighting, it's about the stone."

"What about the stone?"

Carol sighed so heavily that Natasha felt like she was actually in the room with her, "Someone has to die for the other to get the stone, Natasha."

"Oh… well…"

"Well nothing, Natasha," Carol cut off with a firm tone, "you are not dying for this stone, I won't allow it."

"So you are saying I should let Steve die instead? You think I'm like that?!" Natasha shouted back.

"I know you wouldn't let that happen, that's the problem, Natasha," Carol cried, looking away from her girlfriend, "I can't lose you, not like that."

"Hey," Natasha said softly, her hand mindlessly reaching for Carol's face even if she couldn't touch her, "I don't want that either but there is no choice, I can't let him die."

"I know," Carol sniffled.

"I love you Carol."

The blonde looked up, tears running down her cheeks, "Don't say it like it's the last time."

"I'm not."

"You are, but it's not the last time, I don't allow it."

"Carol, please… Tell me you love me," Natasha implored, her own tears staring to fall out of her eyes, "I need to hear it, please."

"No!" Carol yelled, but it was not anger, it was sadness that made her raise her voice, "I'll say it when you'll come back, I'm not losing you."

"Carol," Natasha cried but she was gone, she had already hang up the call.

Natasha fell on her knees, crying. She needed the strength that Carol's _I love yous_ gave her for this mission, she needed to know that she was loved by someone before running to her death but the blonde didn't give her, she had been selfish for the first time in their relationship.

That night, Natasha didn't sleep, hoping that Carol would call her back, to tell her that she loved her, to give her the courage she needed, but she never did and Natasha went to the Time Heist with nothing in her then the hope that they would bring the dusted back.


	18. Powerless

Powerless.

That was how Natasha on top of that cliff.

Steve and Natasha were teaming up, nothing unusual, but it was there destination that was a first for both of them. Not a lot of people in the universe ever set foot on this planet anyway, Vormir, even the name sounded like something bad would happen, and, God, it did.

One second Natasha was standing at the top of this cliff with Steve, talking to a sort of ghost with a hood, the next she was lying on the floor of Tony's time travel machine, the right side of her head sore and with Steve's shield in one hand and an infinity stone in the other. Suddenly, Rocket, Clint and Tony rushed to her side, helped her to stand as they asked her if she was okay and where was Steve. Steve?

There was something else in her hand, a piece of paper. She kept it hidden but gave them the stone, that way they would stop paying attention to her. Clint still insisted to get her to the infirmary, and she gladly accepted, she did need some rest for her head.

After he gave her some pills for the headache, Clint went back to the others and left her alone so she could read what was on this paper. Natasha instantly recognised Steve's handwriting and she guessed what his words would be about, she had discussed this with Carol, she shouldn't be reading these words, she should be the one that didn't make it. She wasn't ready to know his reasons, because it would make it real, but she had to, the last thing he did was to sacrifice himself to save her, she had to honour him by reading his last words.

_ Natasha, _

_ First of all, I'm sorry for the hit you took in the head but I knew you wouldn't let me do this willingly, I had to do it before you. _

_ If you read this, it means that you have the Soul stone, and therefore that I died for you to have it. _

_ I know, it must hurt, but I couldn't let you sacrifice yourself, I promised Carol I would bring you back to her and I'm not one to break a promise. _

_ You are the one who fought every day since we lost to get everybody back and it wouldn't be fair if you didn't get the chance to see them again after that, it wouldn't be fair that you didn't get the chance to see your girlfriend again either. _

_ You have a bright future in front of you _ _ Nat,__ whatever you decide to do, I know you will succeed, you have Carol to support you now. This girl is madly in love with you, I didn't__ know it was possible to love someone that much, but she really does and I'__m happy for the both of you, you deserve it. _

_ I, well, I had a life, I made choices and I stand by all of them. I chose the hero life, decided to move on, but now I'_ _m back to it and I know it'_ _s the moment for me to go. This is my last fight before going home, I'_ _m going back to Peggy, I can't_ _ wait to see her. I had a great life, I'_ _m glad you were a part of it, but I'_ _m out of my time. _

_ Your__fight is not over, but I know this time you _ _ guys _ _ will win, and when you do, please take some credit for it, after all the times you let others have it. _

_ I wish you the best for the rest of your life, you can do it. _

_ Love, Steve x _

_ PS: Give the shield to Sam, I might be dead, but Captain America can still live through this symbol. And, please, tell Buck I love him. _


	19. Over

It was over.

They won.

It all happened so fast, Natasha got out of the infirmary after reading Steve's letter to witness Bruce putting on their Nano gauntlet and snap to bring the dusted back. Then, all exploded around, the compound destroyed by missiles and Natasha fell into the hole that was formed under her, that shield that she still had at her arm protecting her in her fall but the impact was still to much for her and she passed out.

She got awakened by Tony shaking her shoulder, "Nat, it's time to go."

"What happened?" the redhead grunted as she sat up.

"When you mess up with time it tends to mess back, you'll see."

She followed him to discover the ruins that were the compound and her first thought was all the belongings Sam and Wanda left when they disappeared, that she left there for them to have when they would be back and now it was all destroyed. Thor was standing there, staring at the horizon, or so thought Natasha until she saw Thanos himself, in an armour he wasn't wearing when they first fought him, sitting down on the ground, surely waiting for them.

"Where are the stones?" asked Natasha as she looked down at Steve's shield.

"Somewhere under all this, all I know is he doesn't have them," replied Tony.

"You know it's a trap, right?"

"Yeah, I don't much care."

"Good," mumbled Thor, "As long as we are in agreement," he added before raising up his arms, Mjolnir and Stormbreaker suddenly flying from the sky to him, "Let's kill him properly this time."

Natasha didn't remember a lot of what happened when they went to Thanos, he said some shits that none of them listened to and they started fighting him, Tony being knocked down first, Natasha quickly following despite the protection that the shield brought her.

When she opened her eyes again, she saw Mjolnir on the ground and Thor a few metres away, Thanos close to stab him with Stormbreaker. She didn't even think when she reached for the hammer and threw it at the Mad Titan before calling it back to her hand. Then, she realised what she had just done when Thor shouted with his whole heart, "I knew it!"

The redhead continued fighting Thanos, taking heavy hits but the power that she got from the Thunder helped. He was still way stronger than her and struck hard, but his goal was not to kill any of them, he wanted to give his speech of "peace" first, and then called his army to kill them. It was just the three of them against Chitauris and other alien species Natasha had never seen, heard about in some of Carol's stories maybe but she was sure they wouldn't win it.

Accepting her destiny, dying to protect Earth, Natasha tossed Steve's shield away, that Thanos had ripped in halves and took out her batons, her favourite weapons. Thanos' army was about to charge when Natasha heard a noise in her ear, coming from the earpiece she had forgotten she was wearing. At first, she could only decipher the words, telling her to look behind her, and then she heard it, Sam.

In her back, dozens of magical portals opened and people came out of it, soldiers, Wakandians, Okoye, Shuri and T'Challa, the dusted. Bucky was there as well with Wanda, Peter Parker and Dr. Strange, they were all there, ready to fight, ready to win.

They all regrouped and Natasha called Mjolnir as she stood beside Thor and smiled at him, "Let's win it, for Steve."

Thanos' army and the Avengers met one another in the middle of the battlefield, people fell on both sides while they took turns at trying to kill Thanos. In this mess, Natasha saw Clint with the gauntlet, passed it to T'Challa while Wanda was dismantling Thanos' armour. She would have killed him if he had not ordered his ship to fire more missiles down on the battlefield, and for a moment Natasha thought they wouldn't make it. Protected by sorcerers, Natasha watched Wakandians getting blasted and hoped they didn't have unlimited munitions.

But they had their secret weapon too, and it just flew through the giant ship firing at them. Natasha watched her girlfriend raising up in the sky as the ship crashed down and used her comms to talk to her, "You had to make an entrance."

"You love them," the blonde said as she dived to land in the ground beside her. She was about to speak when Natasha stopped her, her free hand reaching Carol's chest as she showed her Mjolnir in her left one, "You want that?" she teased, but the blonde had her eyes on something else.

Behind them was Peter Parker, blood running down his nose as he laid down on the ground with the gauntlet against his chest. He introduced himself to her, because it was his thing, Natasha had noticed in Germany, and gave her the gauntlet. As she walked in direction of Lang's van, that they could use to bring the stone back in their time lines, all women teamed up to occupy the Mad Titan, Pepper in her suit, the Guardians, Wakandians, Wanda and Valkyrie all united.

Carol was flying straight to the van when Thanos turned back and threw his sword at it, the quantum portal exploding before Carol could get in. The blast sent her flying away and made her drop the gauntlet that Thanos managed to seize. He was about to snap when Carol flew back to him and prevented it, holding his fingers with her hands.

She was holding him back, she was winning, but Natasha couldn't let her handle him on her own. With Mjolnir, she fired thunder at them, which weakened him while making the blonde stronger. Wanda joined and ripped the gauntlet away as she elevated him it the air. More thunder hit the Mad Titan as Thor and Stormbreaker arrived in the fight, Tony and Pepper with the blasts of their suits and then Carol.

At the same time, they all stopped their attacks and Thanos fell flat on his stomach, his armour completely shredded. Thor walked to his level with Natasha and Carol, pushed him on his back and glared at him, "Should I go for the head?" he asked to a barely breathing Thanos before groaning as he beheaded him.

All of a sudden, his entire army started to retreat but Carol ordered to everybody that was still standing to not stop until they were all dead.

And that's what they did, it was the only way for it to be over.


	20. Overwhelming

Overwhelming.

That's how felt this ceremony.

A memorial had been built in honour of Steve and his grand sacrifice to save the whole world and bring back the rest of it, hard to take some credit from that, Natasha thought. Every single person that had once fought with the Avengers was there, and of course, civilians came in numbers to thank him.

It was a very difficult afternoon, everyone who wanted could have the chance to go on the stage, stand beside the human size statue of him and say a word. Of course, his friends and family were going first, which gave Tony an opportunity to finally officially forgive him, they never got the luck to have the conversation. Thor said some words, Bruce and Clint too, then went Sam who had an entire speech written down. Maria Hill paid her respect, part of her words being from Nick who couldn't show himself because he was still reportedly dead. Sharon Carter was the last known face to show up and she made it short, too emotional to speak.

Bucky didn't want to talk about her best friend in front of thousands of people who only knew Captain America, he wanted to speak about Steven Grant Rogers and not a lot of people deserved to hear his stories. Natasha didn't feel like going on the stage either, she knew she would burst into tears at some point but wasn't one to show an of her feelings in public. Before civilians could say their words, Carol concluded the official ceremony and the Avengers all left.

The people invited – those the closest to Steve – met up at Tony's where they shared a large table and chattered about their favourite memories about the Captain.

It finally gave Natasha the time to ask a very important question, "How could you ask him that?" her voice was firm and eyes narrowed.

"What?"

"Steve, he said in his letter that he promised you he would bring me back," she clarified as she crossed her arms.

"He called me, Natalia. I was on my way here, I wanted to stop you from going when he called and told me he knew what would happen and that I didn't have to worry about you. I would never have asked that."

The redhead released a breath she hadn't realised she had been holding, as if she was relieved that Carol didn't want him to sacrifice himself for her, "He called you?"

"Yes…" Carol sighed as she reached Natasha's elbows and pulled her closer, "he said we deserved to be happy together and that he would go home to his girl, what's her name again?"

"Peggy… he said that too in the letter."

"I'm sorry about that conversation, I shouldn't have yelled at you, I was just… so scared to lose you."

Natasha took a step closer and cupped Carol's cheeks, "I understand, if it had been you I would have reacted the same… worse maybe."

Carol slightly nodded, "I love you."

"Love you too."

After a short kiss on the blonde's lips, Natasha caught sight of Sam and Bucky and stopped them, "Hey," she began as she glanced at Carol who smiled before leaving them alone, "Steve wanted me to give you his shield but it's kind of destroyed now."

"Why would he give me his shield?" the falcon asked as he scratched the back of his head.

"Because it's the symbol of Captain America," Bucky explained, "and even if Steve isn't here anymore Captain America still exist."

Sam chuckled, "Well, I'm glad the shield his dead because I don't think I could be his job."

"You'll have the chance to try actually…" Natasha paused as she smirked, creating some longing, "T'Challa nicely offered some Vibranium to make a new one for you and it should be ready very soon."

Natasha and Bucky burst into laughters as Sam gulped as he realised the legacy that was behind this shield and that Captain America himself asked him to carry it on.

They were about to leave when Natasha grabbed the sleeve of the brunet, "Also, James…" she started in a murmur, "He asked me to tell you he loves you."

Bucky lightly scoffed, "Punk," he muttered before giving Natasha a thanking nod and walked away.

Natasha wanted to go back to her girlfriend but she saw a ghost and had to go talk to them, "Nick!"

He turned his head and chuckled as he saw her, "Romanoff, good to see you."

"God, I thought I'd never see you again."

"You can't get a rid of me so easily, I thought you knew that by now."

"Hey man," Carol said to Nick before kissing Natasha's cheek and turned to him again, "Carol! I heard you're into S.H.I.E.L.D agents now!"

"Former agent," corrected Natasha.

"I wish you had called me sooner, wouldn't have hurt to meet this one a few years ago," the blonde joked as she pointed at the smaller woman beside her.

"I knew you would like her."

"You guys know I'm right there, right?"

Nick patted her should, "Of course we do."

"How could I ever not see you?" Carol purred before kissing her temple.

"If you'll excuse me, I have a few people I want to see."

They watched him leave and Carol stepped in front of Natasha, "What do you think about a break, we could go to Louisiana and you could meet my best friend, she can't wait to meet you."

"You already told her about us! They've been back for a week!"

Carol shrugged, "I called to check up on her, she asked how I've been, I had to tell her."

Natasha chuckled, Carol couldn't keep it for herself that she was dating her, she always had to tell everyone she was with the most gorgeous woman on the planet, as much as Natasha was embarrassed by the compliment, "Okay, well go, but only after we are all settled down."

"Deal," smiled the blonde before kissing Natasha's lips.

They went back to the crowd together, talked to more people, but Natasha had only one think in mind, her incoming meeting with Carols best friend that would for sure be overwhelming.


	21. Together

Together.

They were going to visit Maria.

One could think that this visit would be harder for Natasha but Carol had something really important to ask her best friend and had never been so nervous about anything else in her life. She had texted her beforehand to test the terrain and she seemed excited, even if Carol had not given a lot of details.

When they arrived, they were welcomed by Maria at her house who warmly greeted them both. After all this time, Carol needed a five minutes long hug to compensate for all the time she didn't see her even if for Maria it had just been a few months. Natasha quickly relaxed, Maria putting her at ease with welcoming cookies and chitchats about how Carol was when she was younger. The blonde was just witnessing the conversation, too occupied to check that the box in the inside pocket of her jacket was still there to make a joke.

After an hour, Monica joined, yet she had told Carol that she couldn't make it. She didn't stay long though, just enough to warn Natasha about how Carol was the worst when she was in love, to what Natasha replied with a simple _I know _and a smirk at the blonde.

After she left, Maria remembered something Carol told her in her text and asked in front of the redhead "What's the thing you _have_ to show me?"

Carol's eyes widened, Natasha couldn't know nor have any doubt, "I mean, her, obviously," she said with a nervous smile as she pointed at her girlfriend. Natasha didn't seem to find it weird, she just smiled and continued the conversation.

Later on the day, Natasha asked if they could go out and visit the city. Maria was thrilled to show her around but when they were about to leave, Carol grabbed her and kept her inside while Natasha waited in the front yard, "Look at this," she said and opened a box that contained an engagement ring.

"Oh, My Lord!" exclaimed Maria as she saw it. Carol gave her a tap on the shoulder and looked outside to see if Natasha was not coming back inside to check on them, "Shh, it's supposed to be a surprise, don't screw it up for me."

"You're gonna propose? When?" Maria asked, her voice full of excitement.

"I don't know yet, the last few weeks have been a crazy mess, we barely moved into our apartment but I know I want that, I want her."

"Doesn't say when."

Carol rolled her eyes, "Soon, when we get back I think. I wanted to do something romantic, like where we first met or where she first kissed me but it's been destroyed so I don't know."

"Just do you, Carol, that's what she loves. As long as it comes from you she'll like it, and say yes hopefully."

With a scoff, Carol shut the box and put it back in her jacket's pocket, "I'm really happy for you, by the way," began Maria as they walked to the door, "You've never looked at anyone like you look at her… not even me."

"Really?"

"Does she know?"

"That we used to date and that I raised a child with you?" Maria nodded, "Yeah, I told her before we got together but I would have told her anyway, it's the kind of info you can't keep for yourself when building a new relationship."

Maria chuckled, "I see you learnt things from _our _relationship."

As they stepped outside, they stopped talking about the subject. Carol went to Natasha's side and took her hand as they walked in direction of the city. Maria was an amazing tour guide, Natasha enjoyed every second of it and she got to do it with her girlfriend.

They got to do it together.


	22. Forever

Forever.

That's their engagement.

Natasha and Carol lived in a small house in the up state New York, had lived in the apartment Tony rent to them for about a year before settling down and getting their own place. Their wedding was happening at Tony's, that was not so far from their new house, and all the Avengers were there, and their families.

Nick was marrying them, kind of a symbol for them, he was the reason Carol came back to Earth and went to the Avengers compound to meet them, and in _them_ was Natasha. The ceremony was beautiful, Morgan was the on bringing the wedding rings, a reminder that innocence still existed in a world that lived so much. Carol and Natasha kissed under the applause of all their friends, the people that mattered to them, and the party continued with a giant lunch offered by Tony.

After the wedding, life went back to its calmness that they both enjoyed very much. Natasha had retired, the Avengers had been taken over by Wanda, Sam and T'Challa, the trio now based the majority of the time in Wakanda. Carol was still working, sort of, but only with the Guardians. Now that they had the full team, and Thor as an additional member, they could handle basically anything in space, and when they felt like it could turn into shit, they would call Carol, but it happened only once.

In their free time, the couple was working with S.W.O.R.D, a spying agency based on Earth in charge of relationships with alien civilizations. Both Natasha's skills as a spy and Carol's knowledge in extraterritorial beings had been requited by the organisation, and by Monica Rambeau in particular, but they refused to work for them and therefore only were consultants.

Taking new jobs like what they used to do was not the goal of their new life. What they wanted, more than anything else in the universe, was to see their family grow, and they were close to it. Now that they were married, they could submit a file for the adoption of a little girl who's parents never came back with the snap. They had met her a few times before the blip, Natasha visited orphanages for kids who lost their parents of the snap. Carol joined the next few times and it just felt like she was already their kid, but she couldn't be adopted because of the hope that her parents would return. Most of them did, but not hers, and now she was available for adoption and Natasha and Carol were the first on the list. She was six and was already so smart, Carol couldn't wait for her to meet Morgan, those two would become best friends for sure.

That was their new plan for life, and there was no way it wouldn't become the thing they thought. They had lived hell but they made it, together, and together again they started something new, something beautiful that they would always be proud of, their own family.

They did all this together, and they would be together forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year everyone


End file.
